What Does it Mean to Live a Life Fully Surrendered?

I attended UPPERROOM’s End of Year (EOY) Conference in December 2024, and the overarching theme was the importance of what truly happened at the cross and dying to ourselves- I’ll get back to this in a second.

As we were preparing to leave for Dallas, my dad told me to ask God, “What is blocking my progress in my relationship with you, God?” Before I even finished asking the question, I heard His response, “You are not fully surrendered to me.” Okay. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I did not know what to do with that, so I asked God to soften my heart to everything He had for me at this conference.

I had the opportunity to receive a prophetic word, and the first thing I was told was, “I hear God asking you, do you trust Him? He is asking for your full dependency on Him.” This confirmed what I had just heard only a few days prior, and I immediately started crying, feeling the weight of His question to me. While in the prayer room, I spent hours on my face, asking God to help me get to a place of complete dependency on Him. Let’s be honest- it’s not easy fighting your flesh.

Lo and behold, that night's message was about living a fully surrendered life and the importance of dying to yourself. I hear you, Lord.

Here’s what I learned:

Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

Breaking that down, when Jesus was crucified after being brutally tortured, He carried our sins and died to pay the price WE should pay. Every sin we have and will ever commit was transferred to Him before we even repented. When we ask Jesus to come to be the Lord of our lives, we acknowledge what He did on that cross, and we must put to death everything that attached us to our sinful natures- therefore, we were also crucified with Christ.

When Paul writes, “It is no longer I who lives,” to me, he is saying, “It is no longer my will that lives.” This is where dying to yourself comes into play. When I choose a life with Jesus, I actively choose His will daily.

Jesus even says in Luke 9:23, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross  daily, and follow Me.”

What a small sacrifice complete dependency on Him is after the price He paid for our lives.

When Paul says, “But Christ who lives in me,” to me, this means that we yield to His ways. We walk where He walks, and we move how He moves. We no longer follow what our flesh wants for us, but we want what God wants for us.

Towards the end of the message, the speaker, Michael Miller, said to ask the Lord what specifically He wanted us to lay down that had become idols in our lives. In 2022, God asked me to lay down worship leading. It took me a while to understand why, but eventually, I knew he was calling me to let the desire to worship lead down because it had become an idol to me. I am now in a spot where if I never get on a stage again to lead a congregation in worship, I will be okay. If it is just me singing to the Lord in my bedroom for the rest of my life, I will be okay.

I knew immediately what my idols were: the desire to be married and have a family and the desire to move to Dallas. I knew I had an extremely tight grip on these two things, not allowing space for the Lord to move at all. I could feel my heart begin to grieve. I know that sounds crazy, but I was killing the plans I had for my life.

I had previously been working with God to be content with just Him. I knew that letting my desires die was the next step in my growth. I felt Him asking me, “If you never got married and had a family, would you still be content with just me?” I won’t lie; I am still not totally in the fully surrendered spot with this. The desire is still in the process of dying, but I know I will get there. Whenever I open my social media, I see someone getting engaged, married, or announcing their pregnancy, which is hard. I used to say, “UGH God, when is it my time???” but now, when these feelings arise, I am working on simply saying, “I trust you, God.”

The same goes for moving to Dallas. I DREAMED of it constantly. It overtook my thoughts. At that moment, I knew He was asking me, “If you never move to Dallas, would you still be content with me?” This one was a little easier to lay down; however, it still hurt.

I wish I could say the beginning of the year was sunshine and rainbows. I have gone through some tests, but God is always faithful. This year so far has been full of new friendships and growth. What is growth if we are not uncomfortable in moments?

At the end of the day, I desire to be in God’s will and continue to strive to live in complete dependency on Him. Nothing else matters to me.

So, what is God asking you to let die?